Critically unacclaimed

Bismillah

Just like releasing this writing publicly, I am attempting to do something for the first time. Skiing. There is this sense of hesitation that I have staring down this mountain, a concoction of fear and doubt.

A place where toddlers are zooming past me at what looks like unsafe speeds, with all the confidence in the world. Consistent thoughts of dread, plaguing my mind on whether or not I should try and attempt to actually go down.

It begs the question, was I scared of the mountain? Or was I afraid of the humility that comes with failing? It became evident that it was the latter.

After trying to hop on the skis, and the first few humbling attempts falling on my butt, something clicked. No I didn’t become good at skiing all of a sudden (I am still trash lol), I made a realization that “the attempt is far more important than the end result.”

This attempt at skiing was a reminder that 100 billion people lived before me. Anything that I do cannot and will not be the first attempt, I am a nobody. Thoughts, actions, problems, all have been attempted and solved by literally all of humanity.

At the end of the day it was just me vs a mountain, and I definitely wasn’t the first person in the world who was scared going down a mountain. So I mustered up the courage and the solution became clear. Just go down the mountain. Regardless of the pitfalls of failure.

The answer seemed so trivial. Right in front of me, but the tension and stress of what the external world thinks of my failure, was clouding the judgement.

On the flip side, there is also a sense of comfort that I feel knowing that I can’t have an original thought or feeling. That whatever problem I might be having, someone else has solved it. A sense of comfort that there is no reason to not attempt, because the results are already there.

After some greater reflection, these thoughts permeated into something greater.

If so many people have tried literally everything, how can I be different? In all aspects of life, not just this mountain I had to go down.

To me this experience going down this mountain was new, but to the rest of the world it wasn’t. I wasn’t original nor creative in its solution.

The originality paradox

Creativity elicits a feeling of being different, that makes people unique.

The idea of originality makes it seem like we have to try to become different. But in reality we aren’t. It’s nearly impossible to have an original thought, but we force ourselves to make that effort to feel…different.

This seeps into almost every aspect of your life. Especially, creating.

I had a lovely conversation with my dear friend Haroon Dean, who is a phenomenal writer and a pure soul. He wrote an epic piece about that very same conversation around how “people NEED to create.” It inspired me to find an outlet to release some of my essays, writings, and thoughts that I’ve had for years.

Keeping the writings for myself does me no benefit, nor society. But if releasing it allows me to become more comfortable around my own creativity, let the promise of the pen write the truth.

People have this fear of creating, driven by hesitation from societal factors on what the world thinks. But on the other side, some people over-create for the validation of other people or the search to be “different.” It makes people feel that they need an external factor to do things and create.

Regardless of your intentions, create.

Truthfully, no one cares. Not your mother, not your 67 instagram followers, not your 3rd grade teacher that you hated. No one cares what you do. We live in such a self centered society that, “you” being at the center of it, we as humans don’t have the capacity to wonder or even care about what anyone else is doing. So it doesn’t even matter. If you truly cared about building something, you would do it. Regardless of the response or the accolades.

So I attempt this challenge, first and foremost for myself, and I urge everyone else to do so, to create. In any medium, fashion, or method. Naturally people create everyday unknowingly, but as soon as you become intentional in your creativity, it creates this momentum that allows you to continue.

I have many different creative outlets, and I hopefully will use this essay platform to enhance those creative skills. But by writing and documenting this journey, I hope to sharpen my penmanship like a soldier prepping their sword for battle.

Being Critical

Most people (like myself) are our own biggest critic. The problem with that is that we haven’t won anything yet. I don’t have any accolades, or awards for my writing. No piece of creativity has been praise worthy or acclaimed. We have to let the world decide that. But that only occurs, when we actually open our hearts, when we release, when we publish.

If the world hasn’t judged your work yet, why have you?

We are all just trying out in this world, and regardless of the accolades and attempts we try to make into it. Whether you have written 1 piece, or 100. Attempted to paint once or have an entire gallery of work that hasn’t seen the light of day. We are all the same.

Just like critically acclaimed films, albums, or novels, they all started in the minds of people. The difference between us and them is they actually took the steps to release it to the world. To receive its judgement. To face its harsh truth.

At the beginning it’s going to be hard, and might not turn out that good, but it doesn’t matter, because my best work is always going to be the next one. We first have to tear down these arbitrary walls about being critical, because we are unacclaimed. We have no place in the hearts of people yet.

At the end of the day no one is special, but everyone can become special, with the right eyes looking. To find the value deep down requires a strength that very few possess. But to release it in the public, requires an even greater amount of confidence.

But until we release our work, we all are just

Critically Unacclaimed